didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
