spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
