Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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