i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
