Will you blow on my dice?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
