It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
