is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
