Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
