I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
