every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
