you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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