They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I could fuck to npr.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
