Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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