Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize