Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
