we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
