everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
