You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
