his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My dick has a subreddit
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
