Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
