"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
