I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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