found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
