Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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