i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
