Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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