I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
