At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
