You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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