i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
