after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What a dumb baby whore.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
