You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
