my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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