Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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