If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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