Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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