oh god the rape fog is back!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
