just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
