Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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