allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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