1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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