do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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