i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
