Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
