I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
