no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
