so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize