True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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