i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
