No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
