what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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