You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
