Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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