I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
