Texts From Last Night

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  (027): View more from

  I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge

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  (027): I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge http://tfl.nu/wz99
  Replies (33) Good night (2046) Bad night (3515)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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  (502): so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one http://tfl.nu/ezfm
  Replies (11) Good night (4464) Bad night (513)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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  (325): I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room http://tfl.nu/mue9
  Replies (53) Good night (4506) Bad night (2442)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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  (484): I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/welv
  Replies (13) Good night (3173) Bad night (1016)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.

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  (312): Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/nsh1
  Replies (5) Good night (2623) Bad night (1135)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me

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  (513): Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me http://tfl.nu/vfre
  Replies (13) Good night (3303) Bad night (1682)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

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  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1079) Bad night (4383)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up

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  (618): She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up http://tfl.nu/rljs
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (2276)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

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  (402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5
  Replies (3) Good night (2288) Bad night (693)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.

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  (208): Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch. http://tfl.nu/hfll
  Replies (6) Good night (762) Bad night (1444)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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  (937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev
  Replies (7) Good night (2765) Bad night (708)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS

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  (647): YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS http://tfl.nu/r5xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1039) Bad night (573)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (365)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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  (417): I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana. http://tfl.nu/djzp
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (407)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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  (361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (184)

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