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• (631): View more from New York

  peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (415): View more from California

  My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.

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• (585): View more from New York

  The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad

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