Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..