and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hippo gnu deer
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
