Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college

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(515): View more from Iowa

the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me

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(573): View more from Missouri

I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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(574): View more from Indiana

There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.

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(586): View more from Michigan

And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life

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