Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.