Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.