there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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