yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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