I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
