It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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