I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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