I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
