her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
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I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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