I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
